Category: Executive Function & College Planning
Reading Time: 6 Minutes
By the time November arrives, many households with neurodivergent teens find themselves thrown into an off-beat rhythm. The initial momentum of the school year, particularly the novelty that ADHD brains yearn for as fuel, has evaporated, yet the reprieve of winter break is still weeks away, and many students find themselves stuck, idle, or even “foggy.” Grades that started strong may now be slipping, and the tension surrounding the dreaded “next steps” seems to be looming behind the scenes in your teenager’s brain—enter Dr. Nicole LePera’s “functional freeze.” For parents, this is often the most confusing time of year. You might observe your typically bright, capable teen appearing suddenly unmotivated, irritable, or paralyzed by tasks they handled easily just weeks earlier. It is crucial to determine whether this shift is coming from "senioritis," academic indifference, or a lack of discipline.
This phenomenon is most commonly known as Autistic or ADHD Burnout. Contrary to popular belief and societal stigma, burnout is far from a behavioral choice; it is a physiological depletion of executive function resources coupled with an internal yearning to just get back to baseline.
However, for students with learning differences, particularly those with ADHD, Autism, or Twice-Exceptional (2E) profiles, these same tasks require conscious, manual effort with no room for deviation—especially as the holiday rush begins. Neurodivergent students aren’t simply slowing down; they’re stalling out, teaching themselves to drive stick-shifts while their neurotypical peers hop into automatic cars with dual climate control and perfectly-tuned brakes.
By December , the cumulative cognitive load of "masking" and maintaining executive function skills for three consecutive months creates a deficit. The brain’s pre-frontal cortex, responsible for planning, time management, and emotional regulation, simply runs out of fuel.
Signs that your teen is in burnout, not just "tired":
Loss of Skills: They suddenly cannot manage time or tasks they previously mastered.
Encouraging students to “push through” burnout often backfires, as many eventually crash, burn, and completely shut down. As a parent, you may be asking yourself, “Well, if I’m not telling them to push through, aren’t I giving them permission to quit?” As tough as this dilemma might seem, fear not. The answer is often simpler than many believe. At BES, we recommend a strategy of "Strategic De-Loading." This involves taking a zoomed-out, holistic look at your child's life to reduce cognitive friction and brain fog without sacrificing their long-term goals.
Here’s our five-step framework for getting back on track, one small step at a time.
School isn't just about academics; it's about the energy cost of the environment. Review the daily schedule for energy leaks. Is the noisy cafeteria causing sensory exhaustion? Are AP classes causing disproportionate stress instead of exponential value? Utilize IEP/504 support to modify the environment. This might look like a pass to the library during lunch or requesting extended time on midterms to reduce processing speed anxiety.
When the internal brain is tired, we must build an external scaffold. Stop relying on willpower or memory, as ADHDers have been proven to have deficits in both arenas. This is where executive function coaching for teens becomes critical. We move the burden of "remembering to remember" off the student and onto something external, such as analog clocks to visualize time, body-doubling (working alongside someone) to initiate tasks, or breaking college planning and preparatory tasks into micro-steps that require little to no decision-making power to start.
High-performing parents often worry that slowing down means falling behind. However, when students with ADHD and/or Autism are tasked with looking ahead and planning for their futures, protecting the student’s mental health is paramount. To do this effectively, identify the single most critical academic or collegiate goal for November. If the goal is submitting the Common App, other expectations (chores, non-essential extracurriculars) may need to be temporarily paused. This is not "letting them off the hook;” rather, it’s teaching them how to allocate their most important resource of all– their mental bandwidth.
The fear many parents hold silently is this: If they can't handle November in high school, how will they survive one semester at college? This is a valid concern, and it can be carefully navigated together.. College readiness for gifted students with ADHD or Autism is rarely about intellectual capability; it is about self-regulation. Burnout in high school can actually be a productive data point—if it is analyzed, not punished. It highlights exactly where the student's executive function gaps are. Does this burnout signal a need for a reduced course load freshman year? Does it indicate the need for academic coaching, specifically for time management or writing organization? Identifying these patterns now allows you to look, listen, and discover what might be off in your child’s day-to-day and build a support infrastructure before they leave home for college.
As a parent, your role during burnout can be particularly challenging. You are often the "safety" container, where your child collapses after holding it together all day. The urge to fix, nag, or manage is strong. However, the transition to college requires you to move from "Manager" (doing it for them) to "Mentor" (guiding them to resources). If the friction between parent and child is becoming the primary dynamic in your home, it may be time to outsource the management role. Professional support—whether through educational consulting or specialized ADHD academic coaching—allows you to return to being a parent, while ensuring your child has the expert guidance to navigate the slump. Your child is not broken! They are simply running a high-performance engine that needs a specific maintenance schedule. Encourage them to use the winter months as a time for maintenance. After all, whether neurotypical or neurodivergent, everyone needs to stop, pause, and reflect, and most likely, to reevaluate their approach.
Every student’s journey is different, and the right support can make all the difference. At Bass Educational Services, we specialize in helping neurodivergent, college-bound students thrive in all facets of life. If you’re tired of being the Mom-a-ger (or Dad-a-ger) in your child’s life, and are ready to start being their parent again, let us provide the needed support. 🙂
Schedule a free consultation today to see how we can help your child succeed.