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Easing Holiday Stress for Parents and Their Neurodivergent Children

Easing Holiday Stress for Parents and Their Neurodivergent Children

By: Susan Crowther, M.Ed.

The holiday season can heap an extra helping of stress onto the plate of the neurodivergent family. Parents of teens with ADHD face disrupted routines and increased social demands that may lead to hyperactivity, difficulty focusing, and impulsive behavior. For parents of teens with autism, large family gatherings can be tricky. Sensory overload, routines interrupted, social anxieties and meltdowns are daunting to navigate.

Add to this the barrage of sugar and other lifestyle strains, and you’ve got all the ingredients to cook up some serious stress!

But there is hope. Proactive strategies can work wonders during the holiday season. Here are some basics:

Keep it simple. Ease up on your expectations. Let go of rigid traditions that feel too challenging and keep gatherings “laughably simple.” Plan easy family activities such as baking, playing games, or watching movies. Allowing your teen to decide the holiday activities may help reduce surprises and increase their involvement.

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Plan an escape route. If you and your teen become overwhelmed, excuse yourselves and recharge in a quiet space. Practice slow deep breathing exercises, which calm the mind and body. Take all the time you need.

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Put on your oxygen mask. Parents who practice self-care are better able to be present for their children. This holiday season, eat healthy meals, limit alcohol consumption, have regular exercise, and stay well rested. As you role model, encourage your teen to practice their self-care activities, such as listening to music, reading, or spending time in nature.

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Find your tribe. Connect with other parents of neurodivergent children. Share your experiences, while receiving wisdom and emotional support. Online or in person, community is there for you!

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Welcome the holiday challenges instead of resisting them. Be gentle with yourself and your child. And always remember: love and laughter, put everything after.

Happy Holidays, from your BES community!

About the author

Susan Crowther, M.Ed.

Susan Crowther has over twenty years of experience working as a teacher, advisor, and tutor for neurodivergent college and High School students. At Landmark College, the premier college for students who learn differently, she worked in the First Year Department, where students “learn how to learn”—preparing them for success through metacognition, academic strategies, and self-advocacy. Susan created the college course and wrote the textbook, Lifestyles for Learning, which identifies key lifestyle factors and explores their affect on academic performance. She also served as Country Director for the college’s Service Learning program in Costa Rica. For the past ten years, Susan has written wellness-themed books through Skyhorse Publishing and is currently working on her sixth book. She received her MA and ABD in Educational Psychology from Vermont College and Norwich University. Her areas of scholarship focused on the learning process, including executive function, learning styles, and intuition. Susan enjoys serving as a writing coach, helping students to ignite their voice, embrace their obstacles, and reframe their relationship with the writing process. As a graduate of the Culinary Institute of America, Susan mentors young adults in the culinary arts. She recently taught cooking in the Putney School Summer Arts Immersion program. She also serves as a mentor in the Vermont Junior Iron Chef competition. Students who struggle in the classroom often thrive in non-traditional environments like the kitchen! One of her former students is writing a cookbook, and Susan is helping him develop this for publication. In her free time, Susan enjoys cooking, foraging, Pilates, swimming, and hiking. Susan is the mother of two adult men. Susan lives in Vermont with her husband, Mark and their dog, Zina.